The Twelve Chocolate-covered Days of Christmas
by Pierre in France
Summary: Even though its nowhere near Christmas, I saw a Despicable Me Twelve Days of Christmas and wanted to do it so bad. Well, I did.


Veruca Salt: I want to sing The Twelve Days of Christmas.

Miranda Piker: I'm an unused character. And I'm going to mess you all up because NOBODY USED ME! Waaaah!

Charlie Bucket:I'll start. On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a tour of the factory.

Miranda Piker: Do people speak Yiddish in the factory?

Charlie Bucket: Um, no. Why?

Miranda Piker: Number one: don't say "um". Number two: BECAUSE I LIKE YIDDISH!

Augustus Gloop: On ze second day of Christmas, ze true love gave to me two Vonka bars...

Miranda Piker: You're not saying it right. You're supposed to say "On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me two Wonka bars..." Say it with me.

Augustus Gloop: On ze..

Miranda Piker: YOU'RE EXPELLED!

Charlie Bucket: Are we in school?

Miranda Piker: Hush, midget!

Veruca Salt: On the third day of Christmas my daddy gave to me three lavender ponies.

Miranda Piker: I GIVE UP!

Augustus-flavored chocolate-coated Gloop: Two Vonka bars.

Charlie Bucket: And a tour of the factory. Didn't you get expelled?

Mike Teevee: On the fourth day of whatever my TV gave to me four days of no commercials

Veruca Salt: Three lavender ponies

Miranda Piker: Let's just skip Mr. Fat Kid over there.

Charlie Bucket: And a tour of the factory.

Violet Beauregarde: On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me Five Pieces of Gum

Mike Teevee: I no longer care.

Veruca Salt: Three lavender ponies.

Augustus Gloop: I don't get ze turn, do I?

Miranda Piker: Nope!

Charlie Bucket: And a tour of the factory.

Violet Beauregarde: We did the first five! Woohoo!

Charlie Bucket: We should let Miranda do six as thanks for her editorial advice.

Veruca Salt: Yes I would do that.

Augustus Gloop: I vould not. She never lets me seeng!

Miranda Piker: On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me six hundred dollars

Violet Beauregarde: Five Pieces of Gum

Mike Teevee: You're mumbling.

Veruca Salt: Three lavender ponies

Augustus Gloop: Two Vonka bars

Charlie Bucket: And a tour of the factory.

Charlie Bucket: On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me seven bowls of cabbage water.

Miranda Piker: Six hundred dollars

Violet Beauregarde: Five Pieces of Gum

Mike Teevee: Lalalala I can't hear you!

Veruca Salt: Three lavender ponies I'm getting impatient.

Augustus Gloop: Two Vonka bars

Charlie Bucket: And a tour of the factory.

Augustus Gloop: On ze eighth day of Christmas ze true love gave to me eight gallons of pork and chocolate

Charlie Bucket: Seven bowls of cabbage water

Miranda Piker: Six hundred dollars

Violet Beauregarde: Five Pieces of Gum

(Mike Teevee gets up to get a Coke.)

Veruca Salt: Three _lavender_ PONIES!

Augustus Goop: Two Vonka bars.

Charlie Bucket: And a tour of the factory.

Veruca Salt: On the ninth day of Christmas my daddy gave to me nine trained squirrels

Miranda Piker: YOU JUST RUINED THE ENTIRE SONG!

Augustus: Eez eet just me, or does zat girl have anger management issues. Eight gallons of pork and chocolate.

Charlie Bucket: Seven bowls of cabbage water.

Miranda Piker: Six hundred dollars.

Violet Beauregarde: Five Pieces of Gum.

Mike Teevee: You're mumbling again.

Veruca Salt: Three lavender ponies.

Augustus Gloop: Two Vonka Bars.

Charlie Bucket: And a tour of the factory.

Mike Teevee: On the tenth day of whatever my TV gave to me an actual gun

Veruca Salt: Nine trained squirrels

Augustus Gloop: Eight gallons of pork and chocolate

Charlie Bucket: Seven bowls of cabbage water

Miranda Piker: Six hundred dollars

Violet Beauregarde: Five Pieces of Gum

Mike Teevee: Die! Die! Die!

Veruca Salt: Three lavender ponies

Augustus Gloop: Two Vonka Bars

Charlie Bucket: And a tour of the factory

Violet Beauregarde: On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me eleven shiny trophies

Mike Teevee: Who cares?

Veruca Salt: Nine trained squirrels

Augustus Gloop: Eight gallons of pork and chocolate

Charlie Bucket: Seven bowls of cabbage water

Miranda Piker: Six hundred dollars

Violet Beauregarde: Five Pieces of Gum

Mike Teevee: Whatever

Veruca Salt: Three lavender ponies

Augustus Gloop: Two Vonka Bars

Charlie Bucket: And a tour of the factory

Miranda Piker: On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me twelve pages of homework

Violet Beauregarde: Eleven shiny trophies

Mike Teevee: An actual gun

Veruca Salt: Nine trained squirrels.

Augustus Gloop: Eight gallons of pork and chocolate

Charlie Bucket: Seven bowls of cabbage water

Miranda Piker: Six hundred dollars

Violet Beauregarde: Five Pieces of Gum

Mike Teevee: Four days of no commercials

Veruca Salt: Three lavender ponies

Augustus Gloop: Two Wonka Bars

Miranda Piker: He said it right! Yay!

Everyone: And a tour of the factory!

**I own absolutely nothing. I don't even own Miranda. Waaaaaah.**

**I did not make Miranda up; she has a page on the Roald Dahl wikia.**

**By the way, who noticed my Augustus mistakes? And yes, they were intentional.**

**Review or else!**


End file.
